The next Papa John
Papa John’s Pizza is on the pizza chain restaurant hierarchy that lies somewhere between Dominos, Pizza Hut, and Chuck E Cheese’s. Recently, the famous Father Jonathan was removed from his role as The Big Cheese, which leaves the spot open. Who would be able to take on the famous role of the Papa John and stop the impending war between them and Little Caesar? I have compiled a short list of people, in no particular order, who might be able to do so, and hopefully, will help start the fall of the Roman Empire.
1. John Cena
Being a famous wrestler means he’s strong, and being strong means that he’d be able to lift a bunch of pizza boxes. That means that he’d be able to both bake a lot and hand deliver them if he wanted.
2. John Krasinski
As most everyone knows, John Krasinski played Jim in the TV show The Office, where Jim and his fellow office employees worked tirelessly to sell pizzas and other kitchen supplies. He was able to pretend to be a salesman for at least 3 seasons on that show, so doing it for real shouldn’t be that hard.
3. Elton John
Hear me out on this one: Elton John is already a big performer, and his music is incredible. If Elton John was to become the next Papa John then all of his music could be used in the commercials, and they’re would be no royalties!
4. John Madden
Pizza + Football just makes sense to me
5. Johnny Storm from the Fantastic Four
He could heat those pizzas up real quick
6. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
His name is my name too
7. John Goodman
This one might be a bit of a stretch. At first glance, it’s hard to tell how this John could be the next Papa, but looking through his roles on IMDb I discovered that he played a main character in the 1996 film Pie in the Sky. I have never seen it, and Wikipedia doesn’t have the plot for it, so I can only assume that the pie referenced in the title is pizza pie, and that John Goodman would be able to remember this movie well enough to take on this new role.
Kristopher K. Online 