I’ve been to the future, and I come back with a warning…
This happened one day when I came home around lunch time. I was going to have a nice lunch of macaroni and cheese when I heard a funny noise. It wasn’t really a clank or a bang, but some other noise that is similar to both of them combined.
I went out to the backyard to find out if it was one of those rowdy boys. They’re always attempting to get into my backyard. I have a really nice trampoline that I keep in my backyard, and those kids keep attempting to jump on it, making an incredible racket.
I went outside and I didn’t see the boys on my trampoline, but I saw something else really weird where my trampoline should have been: my neighbor Peter. I stood there with my neighbor called Peter and a Flux Capacitor.
Peter’s always doing something different each week. I am sometimes able to go on his strange adventures, but they always seem to only last about 20 minutes each time, and they’re always on Mondays at 8:30 ET, 7:30 CT.
He told me that he built a time machine like one in a film I’ve seen. That film is obviously Timecop, which premiered in 1994. It’s one of my favorite films and probably one of the most influential time travel movies. The movie stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, a police officer in 1994, and a federal agent in the future of 2004. In the movie he tries to save his wife from being killed in the past, and that’s all that I’m going to say about it without spoiling the movie. This movie is clearly what Peter got his inspiration from.
Peter said that he’s been to the year 3000, and that not much has changed but everyone lives underwater. I told him, “Peter, that’s actually a lot of change! Are people okay? Do they live under there by choice, or did the polar ice caps melt enough to completely cover the cities and we adapted to live there?! And are we able to live there with an oxygen bubble, or did we adapt and grow gills?”
Peter didn’t answer. He didn’t say a single word after I asked these questions. He just smiled at me, staring with his large, unblinking eyes.
He took me to the future and I saw everything:
- Boybands
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
- And another one
There were so many boybands. If I wasn’t already drowning in the underwater cities I would be drowning in the sheer amount of boybands that surrounded me. Peter told me that there was some kind of disease in the future that slowly turns everyone into a boyband over time. Everyone living underwater was a boyband. I went to go see my great great great granddaughter, and she too was a boyband. The doctor told me that it happened very recently after I arrived, and there was nothing they could do.
Peter told me that she was doing fine but dOES THIS LOOK FINE TO YOU?! I BARELY HAD TIME TO GET TO KNOW HER AND SHE TURNED!
I’m… I’m sorry. This was the future, there’s still time to change everything. We can still find a cure here, in the present. We can wish this future bye, bye, bye.
Oh no…
Please! Someone help! I’m starting to turn too! I don’t want to be a part of a group that sings about a generic girl! I need to find the cure! I just bought the Jonas Brother’s seventh album and I haven’t even had a chance to listen to it yet! You need to find a cure to this horrible disease before it’s too late! I’m burnin’ up!
Don’t go into the future! It’s a horrible place where people live underwater! I was barely able to escape back to the present, but I may have just caused the horrible future to occur! It’s not the future anymore, it’s a horrible boyband apocalypse! Even if it’s too late for me, you might be able to stop this from happening. Don’t let us live underwater, don’t buy the Jonas Brother’s 7th album like I did, and find a cure to this awful boyband disease! If someone has to turn in order to stop that timeline from occurring, at least it’s gonna be me.
Kristopher K. Online 